I have a really bad habit of starting things without a clear goal and then having it become a barren wasteland of nothingness. But when I am in the process of starting it, I manage to convince myself that “THIS TIME, I’M GONNA MAKE IT WORK.” This blog? Yeah, how’s that working out for me…
I’ve finally had enough of that crap.
To make a long story short, I recently ran my first “official” race. (You see me? That’s my “I’m gonna pass you suckers here in a second” face.)
The race itself was pretty cool…a neat environment…great people doing some pretty amazing things…I highly recommend running it (especially if you’ve never done a race before). But that isn’t really the point of the story.
I’m one of those dudes that doesn’t do things for the sake of doing them. When I play a “game”, I play to win. Period. To me it makes no sense to do it any other way. That’s just how I roll.
Now I’m not a “runner”. So I knew that I wouldn’t be “winning” the race and was completely cool with it. But I also knew that it wasn’t worth doing without proper preparation. In order to perform my best, I had to get off my ass and start training. So I did.
Race day came, I ran, finished and then I went home.
After a few hours, I was sitting around, basking in the accomplishment of what I just did and thought to myself, “Now what?” You see, I had put all my energy and all my focus into this race and now it was over.
I didn’t know what to do.
So I did the one thing that I least expected myself to, I signed up for another race. Fun right?
Honestly? Not really.
The thing is, I don’t even particularly like running. It’s not something I enjoy and it’s not something I look forward to. But it’s something to do, something to focus on and something to get better at.
That’s why in some sick, twisted way I enjoy the hell out of it.
It sucks waking up early to run. It sucks hitting the hills before most people are out of bed. It sucks doing sprints in the grocery store parking lot by myself. It sucks knowing that I’m going to be doing it again in a couple of days. And yes, it sucks knowing how much more work and how much better I have to get in the next few weeks.
But come race day, when I go out and set a new personal best time, it will all be worth it. Every last sucky moment.
So now I’m running races. I’m putting in the work and I’m getting better every day. And I’m pretty sure that’s what life is about.
It makes sense to me.